Mums - Your Emotional Wellness Matters Too!
The kids are asleep; with each angelic breath they take, the anger and frustration of the day slowly dissipates. The meltdowns, the mess and the frustrations in the day seem to not matter as much anymore as you stare into their angelic sleeping faces.
You tell yourself it is going to be fine, tomorrow is going to be better. Your husband is fine, your kids are fine – but are you doing fine too?
The Many Roles That A Mother Plays
Often, a mother’s priority is to look after the family. A mother strives to be the good enough wife, the good enough mother, and the good enough daughter to their elderly parents. Where do we find the standards defining a good enough mother, wife or daughter? Sometimes, we derive our self worth and esteem from external sources, and we yearn for repeated reassurances from external sources that we are doing fine. It is time to look into ourselves and reassess ourselves based on our own expectations, find value and meaning in what we are doing, and appreciate ourselves for who we are. Then, we can achieve a positive mental health.
The Working Mom?
The grass is always greener on the other side. Indeed, a stay at home mum would sometimes envy working mothers who start the day with makeup, perfume and confident looking attires. The working mothers have a successful career while contributing to the family at the same time. Their children seem to be doing well too. Maybe, you could be like them if you had chosen to then. Maybe your children would do as well too. Maybe you might be happier?
On the other hand, the working mums envy the stay at home mums. They sometimes have guilt and self blame for not spending enough time with their children during these critical growing up years. They face stress at work and occasionally snap at their children after work. They displace some of their anger on the little ones, and blame themselves thereafter. They dread putting on their work attire and getting ready to start their battle at work while leaving the young ones at home. If only you could still be in your comfortable home clothes spending time with your children like the stay at home mums. Maybe you might be happier?
There is no perfect situation. Make the best of your own situation! Start by thinking of how you have made that decision to be the working mum or the stay at home mum. You must have weighed the pros and cons and decided on what seemed to be the wisest decision then. Believe in yourself and do not doubt your own decision. Instead, appreciate the happiness of the current situation. For the stay at home mum, look back at the happy times together with the children, watching them reach each milestone and celebrating them together. For the working mum, look back at your own achievements at work and the quality times you have spent with your children after work because you so missed them in the day while at work. Regardless, you have fulfilled the role of a mother to the best of your ability and to your child, you are always the best mum.
Celebrating Mums Everywhere
Regardless of whether you are a stay at home mum or a working mum, remember you are not only a mum. You are you. “ME time” is important for you to have a positive mental health and to rejuvenate. It can be a short time each day by yourself. Open up your senses and enjoy the sights and sounds around you as you look out. Pamper yourself as you relax over a hot bath, or enjoy the music or a book or a sip of tea. It need not be lavish or time consuming, but you have to be mindful of the moment as you relax. Remember to set time for family, as well as ME time. You need it and you totally deserve it.
A happy mother raises a happy child. Do that for yourself and for your child today! Remember, you are the best mother to your child, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
Our doctors and staff at Mind Care Clinic wishes all Mums a very happy Mothers’ Day!